Therapy Session (feat. Gemini Genesis & Willie Boy)

My therapy is music now I see him face to face I've been lost in my thoughts tryna find this paper chase I manifest my future so I never play it safe But I gotta bring it back before I ever play the stage A youngin' with some guidance, hiding pain behind the silence Fought depression, tried to hide it but I always kept it smiling People never woulda thought cause I grew up in a nice home Dad's spilling liquor while he's gettin the dice thrown Mom dating dudes that would turn to be psycho They said I had it all but I still had to fight though Sometimes I blame myself cause I ain't stop my dad from drinking I knew he had a problem but I'd never overthink it I'd say he's having fun, he's happy when he's drunk Till he's in the hospital and he's throwing up some blood Machines control his body and they're working as his lungs No wife to make decisions so I had to be the one I signed the fucking paper to get them to pull the plug I didn't wanna do it but I knew that he was done Ever since the day he died, I've been lost, no cap I begin to make some progress then it all goes black Cause my mind has been corrupted, every thought so wack Best advice that they could give is Will don't talk like that Why the fuck don't you try walking in my shoes for a minute I got screws that is missing And a family that love to watch me lose from a distance They riding in their Porsche's taking trips to Hawaii While I'm living in my car and my dishes are tiny Dip this pen in truth serum and a lick of anxiety Now I'm tryna save the youth while these kids are behind me I was only 14 when I made my first song Seen my grandpa in a casket and I had to get it off There's 30 million kids like me that struggle with a loss Tryna find a road to riches never knowing what it costs I do this shit for you and I hope that you relate Cause my only goal with music is to help to keep you safe If you feel like giving up, hope you're popping in this tape And it gives you lots of guidance and prevents you losing faith I thank you all for coming to our therapy session I pray it up to god and Ima carry these blessings Chase every dream you got and don't be scared of rejection See you all on Volume 3 or I'll be carried to heaven How could I give a fuck when I already had enough Don't come at me with that talk How you know that it's been tough, I don't wanna be in cuffs How that juvi life is rough You don't know a fucking thing And I'll gladly call your bluff What'd they they you in that file? Let me guess Hold up That I was a problem child That I rarely ever smiled I got behavior issues piled up a thousand miles Daddy issues cause he left and never grabbed the phone to dial How the absence of a man somehow made me seek them out That the anger in me now is from him just walking out What about the endless nights that I stayed up Laid up Thinking what if Come tomorrow My mom don't wake up She was Everything I had, both a mom and a dad So Obviously I'm mad You'd be a fool to think I'm not But play it cool in front of cops Don't need a pool of blood from shots Follow rules and don't get got Don't add fuel to what they plot So I know If I just pretend like I don't want it all to end you'll just jot your little notes Force some pills down my throat Tell me this will help me mend But I know that's not the case You could see it in my face I've been lost for too long, always feeling out of place It's clear I've been abandoned from the cards that I've been handed It's not rocket science, you can tell I have defiance I grew up to battle lions Struggled hard to get to triumph That's why this is useless and I didn't wanna do this There's nothing you could tell me bout myself that I don't already know The odds usually show That a kid in my position doesn't have a chance to grow Maybe it's because of this I never wanted to open up Let a stranger hope enough that they could diagnose me So my response is fight or flight Then they say They could gain more insight if I let them get inside Let them dive into my mind But they don't have a fucking clue What it's like inside my head All the demons that I've fed All the blood that I've seen shed All the times I've woken up, shadows circling my bed How the fuck do I explain all the evil I have said I don't I just keep it to myself Keep your shrinks, keep your meds I don't wish to be dead, I'll just deal with how I've dealt Use the ink, switch to lead until the day finally comes When I have to meet my end