Florida Man

Should you settle down in the Sunshine State? You should know of its tangled fate How the conquistador came to Florida Long before it had a name The medicine man of the Seminole Knelt by the sacred flame and cursed the soul Of the conquistador And his son, and his sons, and the young ones Of the Florida man Florida man (Florida man) Florida man (Florida man) Florida man (Florida man) Florida man Down at the mall, where the boas crawl Ted makes love to a concrete wall His brother Red said his Uncle Ned Found Elvis in a loaf of bread (Florida man) High on meth, there's little Beth The neighbor's cat is on her breath (Florida man) Dan dreams he's got red wings of fire He's waking an' shaking on a power wire Florida man (Florida man) (He's cursed) Florida man (Florida man) Florida man (Florida man) Florida man Slim sees his face on a moonlit wave He grabs a shovel and digs his own grave (Florida man) Lee hates plate glass, he drives right through it Said Alice's caterpillar made him do it (Florida man) A Miami nurse snatches a purse And drives down the freeway in reverse (Florida man) Phil asks the cops to test his drugs After they find him hiding under a rug Florida man (Florida man) Florida man (Florida man) (He's cursed) Florida man (Florida man) Florida man Don't you laugh, it could be you The Florida curse always comes true You can jeer, but you don't understand Any fragile soul can be a Florida man