Unloveable

Shit is hard, so I don't wanna begin again Can't explain it, what I'm feelin', so I play pretend I'ma be the same forever, watch it go again This is how it end Lately I've been sleepin' in Shit is hard, so I don't wanna begin again Can't explain it, what I'm feelin', so I play pretend I'ma be the same forever, watch it go again This is how it end Now I been alone Killin' every motherfuckin' hoe that's on my phone Tryna drop 'em, being cold, but it's all a low Get to know me, you be running, but I get it though I'm unloveable, yeah Been this way for a couple of days That what I tell 'em, if I'm honest they be thinkin' that I'm strange If I let 'em know it's years, stuck and on the same page If I let 'em know it's tears, never sun only rain I'm obsessin' on my last ones, thinkin' bout cuttin' I'm thinkin' that I be nothin', I'm thinkin' 'bout poppin' somethin' I'm thinkin' 'bout on the summit, I'm thinkin' 'bout I be jumpin' I'm thinkin' 'bout all the people who watchin', all of 'em judgin' I'm always thinking, never stops, up and down like it's stocks And if you bettin' it's a loss, like you been gettin' robbed I'm lookin' up at my idols, decided I'll never be one Why am I such an outsider, just fuckin' give me a reason Just fuckin' help me, these demons, they always eat me alive And everytime that she leavin' she never told me goodbye She left me scared of myself, don't think that she meant it well I wish I told her how I'm feelin', that I'm goin' through hell, yeah Wanna change, but this shit is too late I wanna tell ya' that I love ya', but still you thinkin' I'm fake But now I find myself runnin', just so I can get away So I can go and be shut in and waste away all my days Lately I've been sleepin' in Shit is hard, so I don't wanna begin again Can't explain it, what I'm feelin', so I play pretend I'ma be the same forever, watch it go again This is how it end Now I been alone Killin' every motherfuckin' hoe that's on my phone Tryna drop 'em, being cold, but it's all a low Get to know me, you be running, but I get it though I'm unloveable, yeah Wish I was different, but I keep on with this mask Lotta' shit I should've said, but now I'm caught up on my past I don't got a lot of friends, but I got a lotta' cash I'm not thinkin' bout the end, I don't wanna get attached, damn I'm disconnected - I don't got the time for me Every day I learn a lesson 'bout the man that I should be But I never can address it, even though it set me free So I go down this direction and I'm droppin' what I need Pick the pleasure every time and I'll admit it that I'm weak You can measure me insid, and maybe then you'd really see That I'm twisted and broken, this shit is hopeless for me And while you pickin' up smokin' I'm tryin' hard just to breathe, yuh