Love Isn't What It Used To Be

Love isn't what it used to be No, sirree! No, sirree! No shrinking violets too scared to say "yes" No leading up to a gentle caress Just grab a handful and damn the finesse Love isn't what it used to be Love's getting really up-to-date And the kids think it's great No "Pray, unhand me! I'd rather be dead!" No asking papa permission to wed It's just "Hiya honey!" and hop into bed Love isn't what it used to be It's quite apparent that a parent Is a dear old-fashioned thing He'll brood for days on a liaison That hasn't got a wedding ring But now it's a different cup of tea Love is gay, love is free Marry on Monday and, with no remorse, Set out on Tuesday to get a divorce - Then find another on Wednesday of course! Love isn't what it used to be They used to do their minuetting In a manner most genteel But now it's you there with your petting It's like a blinking five-course meal No, love used to be just like champagne Now it's gone down the drain So don't send them flowers to put round their necks What good are flowers? They'd rather have cheques To hell with the romance, let's start on the sex! Love isn't what it used to, Love isn't what it used to, Love isn't what it used to be