Godlight

There's no way out of an angry crowd Without steppin' on some toes They'll scream your name 'til the lights go out Then they'll feed you to the wolves It's hard to say who you'll be When they let those big red curtains close You know this 'cause you told me so I bet you forgot, black heels in the summertime Dad's bad cookin', though you'd be polite Honey, now you got a look that I don't recognize You pulled me aside and you said To know me is to hate me Is to hate what I've become It's to watch me as I'm fallin' From that ladder's last rung It's to feel bad, like a secret you can't keep in I'm not the way I was I'm not the way I was Were you freed within, did you leave your skin? Are you tethered in your doubt? Have you breathed it in 'til it's medicine That you cannot live without? 'Cause you came back home a fuckin' alien And we're stuck here on the ground Call your mom back, kid Before the high comes down 'Cause you forgot Black heels in the summertime Dirt road smoking on a Friday night Honey, now you got a look that I don't recognize You pulled me aside and you said To know me is to hate me Is to hate what I've become It's to watch me as I'm fallin' From that ladder's last rung It's to feel bad, like a secret you can't keep in I'm not the way I was I'm not the way I was But to feel it, to see it The look in all their eyes Is to breathe in, to be in The good grace of that Godlight It's to have it in your hands The one thing you wanted all your life It's all mine It's a hole I can't fill It's a curse I can't break And I gave my soul to it And I cannot be reclaimed I was younger then I was younger then I was young To know me is to hate me Is to hate what I've become It's to watch me as I'm fallin' From that ladder's last rung It's to feel bad, like a secret you can't keep in I'm not the way I was I'm not the way I was But to feel it, to see it The look in all their eyes Is to breathe in, to be in The good grace of that Godlight It's to have it in your hands The one thing you wanted all your life It's all mine And to feel it, to see it The look in all your eyes Is to breathe in, to be in The good grace of this Godlight It's to have it in your hands It's the one thing I wanted all my life It's all mine