Vanlife

Well I quit my job making minimum wage I look fairly well twice and act half my age I'm looking for somewhere that can handle the rage Of a young man on the run With rarely paid taxes and shitty insurance And a glove box full of summons and warrants And a finely-tuned wish that things were that weren't You could say I was lookin' for fun So I bought an '01 red Dodge Ram Bought two pints of whiskey and a 30 of Hamm's Now I'm peein' in bottles and eatin' from cans But ya can't call me homeless, cause I live in a van They call it... Vanlife, I been told this It's a fine life, I've been sold this But it's a fine line between having to and choosin' it Let's roll up, let's blow this! Well the 7-Eleven is a sure bellyache I subsist on a mere wake-and-bake Talledaga to Chicago's lakes I'll take your largest queso And all the girls from Chickamauga to Passamaquoddy Speak enviously of my van's rusty body And this old thing might just be a Bugatti The way I get it from sixty to zero Yeah I'm sixty miles of Fargo on a northern track I'm burnin rubber, no lookin' back Pushin' that thang like a maniac I get tipped out like a stripper, in singles and crack Man I wish someone would fund Amtrak Instead it's the... Vanlife, I been told this It's a fine life, I've been sold this But it's a fine line between having to and choosin' it Let's roll up, let's blow this! Well the south of San Louie can be a lil' gritty It's a far cry from Seattle's tent cities All in all life's pretty pretty From the Starship Enterprise Still a guy with a house and a big old lawn Thinks his block's too good for me to park on And bangs on my door with a letter that tells About a thousand ways he can make my life hell And he's worse than the guy who put a brick through my glass Robbed me blind and siphoned the gas At least I know that guy needed it bad Oh I wish that old boy well In the meantime a cop is bangin' on my door Tellin' me I can't park here no more And what can you do, friends, whaddaya say? Gotta rev up the engine and drive away Chalk it up to the... Vanlife, I been told this It's a fine life, I've been sold this But it's a fine line between having to and choosin' it Let's roll up, let's blow this! It's a sexy kinda lifestyle for certain folks Fractal highways, friends like smoke It all goes up and you end up alone It's like the internet is your real home Call of the wild, call of the road The endless search for a clean commode I'm a trucker of emotive payloads Backed up on guitar Yeah I'm a public park patron, library sleuth I'm a thrift store grifter of Western suits Wringin' out three chords and the truth Like a washrag on the bar Every time I'm feeling down on my luck Think I might trade it in for a coupla bucks Here's some guy like Elon Musk Talking about how we're all gonna get cyber trucks And I think, God Life must be easy when you're one of these dang rich... Gentlemen And I'm pretty sure that I prefer the... Vanlife, I been told this It's a fine life, I've been sold this But it's a fine line between having to and choosin' it Let's roll up Let's smoke 'er down It's a big rig, new town It's the same old night The whole world over Whole world over Sittin' sad and wonderin' why Meritocracy's a lie Oh let's blow this!