The Auctioneer

Hey, well, alright sir Here we go there and what are ya' gonna give for 'em I have a 600 dollar down here now ten and now 25 and Now 35 and now there 50 now 60 will ya' give me 60 Now 75, 75 another 85 dollars and buy 'em there There was a boy in Arkansas Who wouldn't listen to his ma When she told him he should go to school He'd sneak away in the afternoon Take a little walk then pretty soon You'd find him at the local auction barn He'd stand and listen carefully Then pretty soon he began to see How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly He said, "Oh my, it's do or die I've got to learn that auction cry Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer" 25 dollar bid it now, 30 dollar 30 Will you gimmie 30 make it 30 Bid it on a 30 dollar will you gimmie 30 Who'll bid a 30 dollar bid? 30 dollar bid it now, 35, will you gimmie 35 To make it 35 to bid at 35 Who would a-bid it at a 35 dollar bid? As time went on, he did his best And all could see he didn't jest He practiced calling bids both night and day His pap would find him behind the barn Just working up an awful storm As he tried to imitate the auctioneer Then his pap said, "Son, we just can't stand To have a mediocre man Sellin' things at auction using our good name I'll send you off to auction school Then you'll be nobody's fool You can take your place among the best" 35 dollar bid it now a 40 dollar 40 Will you gimmie 40 make it 40 Bidin' it on a 40 dollar will you gimmie 40 Who'll bid a 40 dollar bid? 40 dollar bid it now, 45, will you gimmie 45 To make it a 45 to bid it a 45 Who would a-bid it at a 45 dollar bid? So from that boy who went to school There grew a man who played it cool He came back home a full-fledged auctioneer Then the people came from miles around Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer His fame spread out from shore to shore He had all he could do and more Had to buy a plane to get around Now he's the tops in all the land And let's pause and give that man a hand He's the best of all the auctioneers 45 dollar bid it now a 50 dollar 50 Will you gimmie 50 make it 50 Bidin' it on a 50 dollar will you gimmie 50 Who'll bid a 50 dollar bid? 50 dollar bid it now, 55, will you gimmie 55 To make it a 55 to bid at 55 Sold that hog for a 50 dollar bill Hey, well, alright sir Open the gate and let 'em out and walk 'em boys Here we come a lot number 29 in What are you gonna give for 'em? I have a 25, I oughta get 35 and now a 50 make it 50 bid it along at 50, now 60 will ya' give me 60 Now 75 and now 85 and now 95 and a 100 and now 25 And now it's at 75 and a two and a three and a four and a five and a six Now seven, now 800 dollars and a buy 'em there