Good Afternoon

Now, fellow, here you are In a shitty British bar With a frothy little frown upon your lips Another pinty for me friend, extra warm! (Your accent blows) Well, I beg to differ As you're drowning in that ale You're feeling like a failure Sorrier than soggy fish and chips But you don't have to sit and pout Just let your inner Scrooge come out 'Cause why should any other jerk enjoy his day? When you're down in the dumps And need some cheering-upsies Turn and tap A hapless chap And sweetly say Good afternoon! Good afternoon! (Well, I never!) Just let one fly and you'll be smiling pretty soon Like this! Good afternoon! (I beg your pardon?) You pompous ass It's like "piss off" but with a little touch of class Oh, two little words can totally change your tune Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon! So you've done nothing wrong In so very, very long And I get it's an important point of pride (It's part of my job) But come on, now, don't stay quiet You know you want to try it Better to never let all of the bitter be bottled up inside (Oi! Out of the road, dingus!) Oh, come on, bub! He's got it coming You know you want to Come on, it's right there Just let it Good afternoon! (Yes!) Good afternoon! (The hell you say?) Sir, you're a wankerous, cantankerous buffoon (What's all this, then?) Good afternoon! You smell of shite Now, he didn't say good morning or goodnight That's right! Yes, two little words can totally change your tune Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon! She clogged the loo Good afternoon! He diddled your wife Good afternoon! It meant not a thing, I swear upon my life! Good afternoon! He has the plague Good afternoon! She called you a whore Good afternoon! I'm an orphan, please, sir, may I have some more? Good afternoon! Hello, governor Good afternoon! Pardon his French Good afternoon! Just deplore 'em with decorum like you're Judy bloody Dench Wait... wait... was that Judy Dench? Oh my god, she's a national treasure I love her in everything I loved her in,um, that... Chocolate Chocolat Chocolat While we're stuntin' through the streets of London Town The quickest little pick-me-up is kicking people down Good afternoon! It's tons of fun And if you're shocked, then you can kiss my Dickens, son! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Kiss it, son! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop! What? Stop No, it's Charles Dickens, it's a fun little thing, and Yes, thank you, but there is a baby, and There's a baby! Madam, I am so sorry And ma'am Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Our favourite swear Just let a little vile fill the village square A pin to pop some prick's balloon And nobody is immune Like giving a man a kick in the pantaloon Oh, two little words can totally change your tune Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Good afternoon!