You Can't Have Me (If You Don't Have Him)

My folks were small-time grifters, yeah And counter-fitters, too They never did the kind of things That most kids' parents do Most fathers make a living Keeping books or pushing broom But Mom and Dad made homemade dough Right in our living room! But when the heat got too intense They took it on the lamb My father left a note that said "Be better than I am!" Then Jerry's clan across the hall Stepped in to save the day They took me in and raised me right And that is why I say That he's the needle, I'm the thread He's the butter, I'm the bread He's the fruit, and I'm the peel He's Achilles, I'm the heel Yeah, he's my brother through-and-through Like the Marks, the Wrights, the Grim! Yeah, you can't have tea without the two And you can't have me if you don't have him! Alright, back to work! Don't you wanna hear Jerry's half of the story? Gotta give the people what they want My folks were in a business, too The business we call show The house was full of hoofers We were strictly SRO They taught me every time-step Then I shuffled off to school But on the south side of Chicago No one loved this dancing fool! The gangster kids all knocked me down And made off with my lunch 'Cause I was taught to buck and wing But not to land a punch! But then Joe here had a brainstorm When he saw I couldn't fight I played the odds against him And we ate ice cream every night! Yeah, he's the bait, and I'm the hook I'm the goose, and he's the cook He's the beans — and he's the gas I'm the bulls — and I'm the brass You can't break up a winning team Like that crutch and Tiny Tim! They say you can't have a ball without the shoe And you can't have me if you don't have him! Oh, when we play, it's just a fact Our music fills the air It's true that opposites attract And so we make a perfect pair! 'Cause I'm the third, and he's the root That's the place all chords begin We're two of a kind, if you're color blind Separate mothers but we're brothers Under the skin! So what more can we tell ya', folks? We're partners 'til the end It's nice to know my brother here Is also my best friend! And when this duet's over And the music's growin' dim As the undertaker starts his spiel Please remind him we're a package deal 'Cause you can't have Verve without the Bim And you can't have me If you don't have him! Yeah, you can't have me if you don't have him!