Lose It

I don't wanna lose it Holdin' by a thread, I Wish I could forget, but I don't wanna lose it Scared of movin' backwards Stuck inside a pattern I don't wanna lose it Never thought I would take off (take off) Fly round, land in the same spot As I said, it's about time when I get to cloud nine But it only left me with brain fog (yeah) I don't care what the press say (nah) Everybody knows I'm a head case I don't need a doctor to tell me No x-ray, can explain my chest pain I don't know what I believe anymore (more) Don't I know if I believe what I read anymore (more) Like the world's gone dark, everybody's got a gaslight Tryna help me see through it all, and I see through it all (Yeah) waitin' for an apology Got a better chance of makin' it with the lottery Hate that I always wanna be on my own, now I'm seein' anonymity taken as animosity I understand if you wanna disown me The last few years, I am not a good homie There's a part of my shit that I gotta be ownin' How I wanna be alone but don't wanna be lonely Yeah, but I like to wonder What life'll be like when I'm tryin' structure Can I rise above? The guys, I love ya Even though I treat phone calls like a private number Know what I'm gettin' in my own thoughts Went and made a fuck-up like an iPhone chord As I look in the mirror, couldn't be clearer now We ain't seein' another eye in life at all (at all) (lose it) Puttin' in the work, they can notice improvement Listen to the words that I wrote in the music Careful now, 'cause I don't wanna lose it Holdin' by a thread, I Wish I could forget, but I don't wanna lose it Scared of movin' backwards Stuck inside a pattern I don't wanna- Yo, for years I was lost in a silent state With a head so loud in a violent rage Feelin' fated to go throw life away when Real life is the one thing I try escape Now I'm trapped with a lion who can't be tamed Back to square one now, gotta start again Instead of runnin' away, I try to embrace and face All the shit up in my life that was hard to take, I Parted ways with the party ways and I'm Partly weighed down by that part today Don't give a fuck about anything, it's hard to take When I'm feelin' so much in me that it's hard to say Yeah, paid for a vase and a nice bouquet I'ma place on a grave when it's Father's Day My mind's evil, let's save 'em and grievin' for people And they ain't even pass away (yeah) 'Cause I know I'm gonna hate it when they will be Overthinkin' everything, it got me feelin' guilty Distance will be only ever buildin' Thinkin' everyone I meet is only here to milk me, yeah So sharp it'll kill me Let myself go, now feelin' so filthy Pick myself up, I'm puttin' it together how I never been before but I knowin' what I will be here, yeah I don't wanna lose it Holdin' by a thread, I Wish I could forget, but I don't wanna lose it Scared of movin' backwards Stuck inside a pattern I don't wanna-