The Devil That's Inside

My momma said a man's not supposed to cry But she don't know the pain I hide I pray to God like every night But, no, he don't reply My father said he's proud 'cause I'm doing well But all this money just don't help It's only me, myself, and I (yeah) And the devil that's inside I walk around this surface Broken looking for purpose How am I worth more than a million And still feel so worthless? They watch my life, observe it Think that it's picture perfect But they don't know the fucking struggles that I had to work with Grew up in a broken home My mattress always on the floor Eating ramen every night Evictions always on the door My momma told me pack my bags "I'm sorry son, we gotta go" Just because you plant the seed It doesn't mean that it will grow So please don't ever think my life was better than yours I hate when people say I don't what it's like to be poor 'Cause, yeah, I made a lot of money but I still need more 'Cause I can tell that happiness is something I can't afford And that is life My momma said a man's not supposed to cry But she don't know the pain I hide I pray to God like every night But, no, he don't reply My father said he's proud 'cause I'm doing well But all this money just don't help It's only me, myself, and I (myself and I) And the devil that's inside (yeah) So many things I ain't understand until I got older Like why the hell does my father always sleep on the sofa? And why does momma keep crying and sobbing on my shoulder? Those are the memories as a child I can't get over It's been five years since I've said a word to my older brother And yeah we share the same blood but that doesn't mean I love ya I'll never forgive ya for all the shit you put me under Our father's a fool, with you, he should've just used a rubber A trauma no one knows The scars I never show The voices in my fucking head, they won't leave me alone I guess it's true when they say people can change 'Cause ever since my sister Fresia died, I ain't been the same But that's my life My momma said a man's not supposed to cry But she don't know the pain I hide I pray to God like every night But, no, he don't reply My father said he's proud 'cause I'm doing well But all this money just don't help It's only me, myself, and I And the devil that's inside