The Laughing Gnome

I was walking down the high street, When I heard footsteps behind me. And there was a little old man ([Hello!]) In scarlet and gray, chuckling away Well he trotted back to my house And he sat beside the telly ([Ahh!]) With his tiny hands on his tummy Chuckling away, laughing all day "I ought to report you to the Gnome Office." ["Gnome Office? Ahahahah!"] Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me, Said the laughing gnome Well I gave him roasted toadstools, And a glass of dandelion wine. ([*burp* Pardon...]) Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne. Carried his bag, and gave him a fag. ["Have you got a light, boy?"] "Here, where do you come from?" ["Gnome-man's land, heehee!"] "Oh, really?" In the morning, when I woke up, He was sitting on the edge of my bed, With his brother, whose name was Fred. He'd brought him along to sing me a song. "Alright, let's hear it... 'ere, what's that clicking noise?" ["That's Fred, he's a metro-gnome, haha!"] Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me ["Oh now, I'm a gnome, anyway, haha!"] "Haven't you got a home to go to?" ["No, we are gnome-ads, hehe!"] "Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school? You look like a rolling gnome." ["Nah, not at the London school of Eco-gnome-ics."] Now they're staying up me chimney, And we're living on caviar and honey ([Hurray!]) Cause they're earning me lots of money Writing comedy prose for radio shows "It's the, errrr... it's the gnome-service, yes, of course!" Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee (Oh, dear me...) I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me ([One more time!]) Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me