Figures

Why wasn't you in my life To teach me how to treat women, maybe my relationships would go right Maybe I'd go outside, talk to new people, stead of just write Maybe I wouldn't thought of all those ideas on that one (night) But no I don't blame And no I don't feel any shame Well maybe a little when niggas would joke bout it, like issa game Or when I was driving through lanes At three morning just screaming to let out the pain Or hoping the car would just bang on the side of the tree So that someone would cry out my name In hindsight that shit was lame, but fuck it Stepdad came in my life, man that's the shit I always wanted And everything happens for a reason, that's why I still love him But if I said I didn't hate back when I was 12, nigga I'd be frontin Especially at age13, when he threw out my momma luggage And that's when I learned to appreciate everything until the second it's over First time in my life I saw my momma cry in front of me until I got a lil older I could tell she wasn't doin well But just for me she worked on keeping up her composure That's why I would keep it in, didn't cry for 6 years, till last October I got all these damn figures but a father figure I got all these dam figures round me Got my lip around the blunt and fingers round the liquor Wanna feel just like I'm fucking drowning I got all these damn figures but a father figure I got all these dam figures round me I been praying to the trigger take my life lil nigga But my finger wouldn't take it from me Early 2010's riding in my uncle whip in the summer Don't remember shit too will, if he had a jeep or hummer Cousin Xave to my left side, he was really like an older brother Even though the nigga younger, we was like dumb and dumber Talking bout shit that ain't even matter Felt they love when they talked, only time I didn't feel like a bastard Had to piss the whole damn trip, uncle said you better hold your blatter Hour later we was out the whip, preying for a bathroom like a pastor Day later hit the ocean Me and Xave, we was joking Said the hardest nigga finna swim the farthest nigga, that's the notion So we swam past the barrier, People spotted us and told my uncle there cause for commotion Headed back to the sand, but 5 minutes later I wasn't making a single ounce of a motion Had me screaming like a bitch nigga, Flailing while my head under water, got me feeling like a quotient Remember that shit vaguely Uncle Calvin swam in the tides to bring me back to safety I'll remember till I'm eighty, Ten years later wish coulda saved him, like he saved me I been thinking bout it lately If I checked in he would tell me bout it maybe Member this moment daily Will never let another figure in my life pass gravely I got all these damn figures but a father figure I got all these dam figures round me Got my lip around the blunt and fingers round the liquor Wanna feel just like I'm fucking drowning I got all these damn figures but a father figure I got all these dam figures round me I been praying to the trigger take my life lil nigga But my finger wouldn't take it from me