not a song just venting

You could at least call and say you proud Made my first song 'bout you look at me now Seen you in target the other day with the reason that you ain't mine But I love you so I ain't mad at you for the way that bring me down Old friends calling talking 'bout Tav I ain't know you was famous I talk bout killin' in my songs I'm still the family baby Old pics on snap when I reflect I wanna call Naimon It's been four years since you was mine guess you could call me crazy Cause I'm still waiting for the promises you made me I don't even know why you hate me All I needed was yo love you could of saved me I noticed way before things changed you was changing I feel like I did what I was supposed to do I put my pride to the side and put my all in you I tried way to many times to get over you We did the same shit but I just ain't as strong as you yeah Remember when you told me that it's all in my head Bae if that's the truth then why that nigga in yo bed If I ain't show you that I'm for you then you woulda never left And every time I try to leave I think about the things you said You broke our promise and that broke me too Lose feelings but then stay that's what we always do Then yo touch don't feel good but we run from that truth You ain't 'gon find someone like me it ain't no one like you 'Gon head and get another body I'll wait around shit someone probably 'gon tell me bout it You bad as hell I just ain't happy it ain't no way around it Least you could do is bring my heart back to where you found it I missed my ex whole time we was together Cause I wasn't happy but I ain't 'gon lie that bitch ain't treat me better But look we all know how the first two months be feeling special You can't call me now and all you did hope you regret it I be feeling you don't want me got me thinking bout my other options Force myself to eat and I can't sleep I just wanna call you You feel good just like drugs you know I do it often I'm addicted to yo lies and you ain't ever honest Like who knows what you doing Lord knows what you doing God knows I'm going through it My friends know that I feel stupid I took a bitch to the movies and we kissed Ion know what I'm doing Tried to use her to forget you but I can't do it We better off starting with someone new It hurts to say it but I think it's true Look how I act and then look at you We can barely be together in the same room It ain't shit that I could fix it ain't nothing I could do How many times can I fuck you out yo attitude How many times I'm gon hug you when I'm mad at you How many times we gon realize that I'm bad for you How many times you gon see that I'll chase after you How many times you gon realize what you not doing How many times has that put me in a bad mood This can't be the girl I fell for it's just not you Don't ask who calling me you already know It's that bitch that Tav can't get over It's that bitch no matter what she do she can have my shoulder It's the girl way before SFE when I felt homeless It's the girl made me forget that I was even hungry I moved to Florida just for school you still would always call me It's the girl that I had wanted ever since she saw me It's the love that I had killed I'll take it as a zombie