We Will All Go Together When We Go

I am reminded at this point of a fellow I used to know Whose name was Henry Only to give you an idea of what an individualist he was He spelled it H-E-N-3-R-Y The 3 was silent, you see Henry Henry was financially independent Having inherited his father's tar-and-feather business And was therefore able to devote his full time To such intellectual pursuits as writing I particularly remember a heart-warming novel of his About a young necrophiliac who finally achieved His boy-hood ambition by becoming coroner The rest of you can look it up when you get home In addition to writing, he indulged in a good deal of philosophizing Like so many contemporary philosophers He especially enjoyed giving helpful advice to people Who were happier than he was And one huh One particular bit of advice which I recall Which is the reason I bring up this whole dreary story Is something he said once before they took him away To the Massachusetts state home for the bewildered He said, "Life is like a sewer What you get out of it depends on what you put into it" It's always seems to me that this is precisely The sort of dynamic, positive thinking That we so desperately need today In these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha And so with this in mind I have here a modern positive dynamic uplifting song In the tradition of the great old revival hymns This one might more accurately be termed a survival hymn It goes like this When you attend a funeral It is sad to think that sooner or later Those you love will do the same for you And you may have thought it tragic Not to mention other adjectives To think of all the weeping they will do But don't you worry No more ashes, no more sackcloth And an armband made of black cloth Will some day never more adorn a sleeve For if the bomb that drops on you Gets your friends and neighbors too There'll be nobody left behind to grieve And we will all go together when we go Oh, what a comforting fact that is to know Universal bereavement, an inspiring achievement Yes, we all will go together when we go We will all go together when we go All suffuse with an incandescent glow No one will have the endurance to collect on his insurance Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go Oh, we will all fry together when we fry We'll be french fried potatoes by and by There will be no more misery, when the world is our rotisserie Yes, we will all fry together when we fry Down by the old maelstrom There'll be a storm before the calm And we will all bake together when we bake There'll be nobody present at the wake With complete participation in that grand incineration Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak Oh, we will all char together when we char And let there be no moaning of the bar Just sing out a tedium when you see that I-C-B-M And the party will be "come as you are" Oh, we will all burn together when we burn There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn When it's time for the fallout and saint peter calls us all out We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas Go directly, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars And we will all go together when we go Every Hottentot and every Eskimo When the air becomes Uranius And we will all go simultaneous Yes, we all will go together When we all go together Yes, we all will go together when we go