Dingle Berries

Driving into town Fucking truck broke down Two day walk in boots and shorts No other option now Down the track just a little bit I stopped to have a shit No leaves or bark to wipe me arse Fucking hell sweet Jesus 'Cause I've got dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way Check me water flask Got a try to make it last Just tiny sips to wet my lips Can't waste it on me arse Then in come a cloud of flies In me mouth, me nose and eyes But when those bastards sniffed me arse They all fucked off and died 'Cause I've got dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way Itching, chafing sore Can hardly fucking walk Waddling like a fucking duck Fucking arse red raw Along a straight and well worn track Still I should have brung a map Useless fucking GPS Can't wipe me arse on that 'Cause I've got dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way After two days and two nights At last them Christmas lights Town kids all come running out Must've heard me rectal chimes But they chucked rocks when they all saw That I wasn't Santa Claus Just you wait until Christmas day You little cunts will get fuck all, except for Dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way Finally crawled into the pub Someone call the fire truck Got smoke and sparks coming out me arse And spotfires on me nuts But before the fire truck come And before the doused me bum I klanged me knackers and rattled them dangs And the whole pub sang along, we all sang Dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way