Smile 4 Me

My life, is in the hands of the man upstairs Through trials and tribulations, he'll always be there You see, I know he loves me and I know he cares And he'll never put more on me, than I can bear Is it a blessing to live or a blessing to die? Let me finish out this hell with no questions why I should be happy I'm on and dressing fly But is the game changing me for the extra pie? If you could just look into the life I live Three sixty catching up to all the trife I did Got my people up north trying to slice the bid While I'm in love with a nigga, with a wife and kid Maybe if my pops ain't abandon me I wouldn't let so many niggas take advantage of me Using me, some even put their hands on me I wonder what the most high got planned for me My life line getting shorter when I look in my palms Swore I'll be nothing like my biological mom She ain't raise me so naturally I never felt a bond At sixteen got my GED never saw a prom I been weak and I been strong I been through the fire, I been through the storm I try to do right and I know I do wrong Just be happy for me when my life is gone 'Cause, no more hurt and no more tears There'll be no more pain and no more fears No more people in my face that's not sincere So, smile for me when I'm no longer here At a young age I let the world turn me out Pellets and purple haze been burnt me out A hard knock life is all I learned about Trying to eat the only thing I be concerned about Telling my youth everything happens for a reason Let him know it ain't that his father wanted to leave him If it wasn't for the streets he'd still be breathing Trying to raise him myself but I know he need him Me and my seed used to live off mostly welfare Only two checks a month for us both to share I remember making sure that the coast was clear So, I could boost us some muthafucking clothes to wear Had to hustle 'cause them food stamps just wasn't enough Upstate back to Broadway got to go re-up All this fast cash only turned the heat up Can't afford to get knocked but who gonna feed us I been weak and I been strong I been through the fire, I been through the storm I try to do right and I know I do wrong Just be happy for me when my life is gone 'Cause, no more hurt and no more tears There'll be no more pain and no more fears No more people in my face that's not sincere So, smile for me when I'm no longer here Can't shake these thoughts of suicide Anyone I ever loved or was close to, died Ones I trusted or thought was being true lied A lifetime of tears but just a few I cried Try to take my past, stick it up on a shelf But, my actions stem from all the pain I felt I'm just trying to make the best out the hand I dealt If I fall, who can I turn to for help? Hope my man with me and not my wealth Will he be there through good and bad sickness and health? Does he want the real me or somebody else? I been in wars just so I don't hurt myself Now that I'm on most can't stand me now But they was happy when I rocked all them hand me down When I need them, funny how they can't be found That's why the most high's my only family live I been weak and I been strong I been through the fire, I been through the storm Try to do right and I know I do wrong Just be happy for me when my life is gone 'Cause, no more hurt and no more tears There'll be no more pain and no more fears No more people in my face that's not sincere So, smile for me when I'm no longer here Yeah, it's right, my life Uh-huh [Incomprehensible] Yeah, [Incomprehensible], uh uh uh