I'm the Greatest Star

I got 36 expressions Sweet as pie and tough as leather And that's six expressions more than all them Barrymore's put together Instead of just kicking me, why don't they give me a lift? Well, it must be a plot 'Cause they're scared that I got... such a gift? Well, I'm miffed 'Cause I'm The greatest star I am by far But no one knows it They're gonna hear a voice A silver flute (ah ooh ah ooh) They'll cheer each toot (Hey, that kid is terrific, mmm) When I expose it (Now can't ya see to look at me that) I'm a natural Camille As Camille, I just feel I've so much to offer (Hey, listen kid, I know I'd be divine because) I'm a natural cougher (Ahoo, aheh, ahay) Some ain't got it, not a lump I'm a great big clump of talent Laugh! (Ha ha ha ha) They'll bend in half (Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?) A thousand jokes (Stick around for the jokes!) A thousand faces I reiterate When you're gifted, then you're gifted These are facts I've got no axe to grind Hey, whaddaya blind? In all of the world so far I'm the greatest star No autographs, please Ya think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever? I should say not Any minute now, they're gonna be out Finished! Then it'll be my turn Hmph! Who is the pip with pizzazz? Who is all ginger and jazz? Who is as glamourous as? Who's an American beauty rose? With an American beauty nose! And ten American beauty toes? Eye on the target and wham! One shot, one gunshot and bam! Hey Mister Keeney! Here I am! I'm the greatest star I am by far But no one knows it That's why I was born I'll blow my horn 'Til someone blows in I gotta break the lights Gotta flash of light I'll flicker then flare up All the world's gonna stare up Looking down, you'll never see me Try the sky 'cause that'll be me I can make 'em cry I can make 'em sigh Someday they'll clamor for my drama Have ya guessed yet? Who's the best yet? If ya ain't, I'll tell ya one more time You'll bet your last dime In all of the world so far I am the greatest, greatest Staaaaaaar!