The Diary of Adam and Eve: Feelings

Feelings are tumbling over feelings Feelings I do not understand And I am more than slightly worried That they are getting out of hand Sometimes they happen in my stomach Sometimes they happen on my skin What is the name of this condition that I am in? If I'm objective and observant If I can keep an even keel I'll be the first to pin a name to What I'm the very first to feel I am the first to face this problem I am the first to have this dream How can I harness his attention? How can I harvest his esteem? Am I sufficiently attractive? Should I do something with my hair? Is there tome tidbit that will please him? What should I wear? What is the source of this congestion That I must learn to rise above? Is there a name for this condition? Yes, there's a name And it is "Hell"