The Jogger

Well I've been a trucker now for 20 years From the Charleston Coast to the Jersey Piers Sharin' the road with race car nuts and loggers Sunday drivers scouts on hikes, Hells Angels on Harley bikes I never met a roader I didn't like, except them joggers One day I'm rollin' down 101 I got 18 wheels under 14 tons Radio playin' a good ol' country rocker The day was surely a trucker's dream The sky was sunny and the air was clean When up ahead on the road I seen a skinny, sweating jogger Well he was dressed like they do in baby blue With shorty shorts and a headband too I yelled, "Hey sweetie, I bet that you Are the hit of the men's room locker" But I'm runnin' late with an overload So get your Adidas off of this road I'm LA bound and I don't slow down For dead raccoons or joggers Well without breakin' stride or losin' poise He said, "You and that rig sure make some noise I can't talk now, I'm racin' against the clocker But it's just nine miles to Forkers Leap And if you ain't afraid to race that heap We'll see how that ol' rig holds up against a super jogger" Race? I must be hearin' wrong The boy's been runnin' in the sun too long The only place he's racin' to is the doctor But before I could say, "Hey, thank you, no" That fool yells, "Ready, get, set, go" And the race is on, we're off and gone Me and that maniac jogger Well, I could've left him far behind But I played with him like a fish on a line And I stayed about a half a mile behind that sucker Then I pushed her up to 45 And he sees me comin' and he starts to fly I pushed her to 60 and shift to high And finally catch that jogger And it wasn't easy Now I'm doin' 80 and I turned to check And he's stayin' right with me, neck and neck His heart's thumpin' like my engine goin', "Pow, pow, pocker" Then he says, "Hey, I hope you're set 'Cause I ain't shifted into second yet" Then he unwinds and leaves me behind Eaten the dust of a jogger Then I see him joggin' up into the sky And he yells, "Hey thanks for the exercise I hope that losin' this race was not too shockin' You see, my dad says heaven ain't no place to run And I try to be an obedient son So I come down to Earth to do my jogging" Well that's the story, take it or leave it My trucker buddies, they believe it So do them race car nuts and Harley hoggers And I'm still drivin' much the same Except I don't call nobody names And I tip my hat each time I pass One of them good old joggers And I say, "Hey good buddy, can I get you something? How about a little Gatorade, yeah? Oh, that's alright, I got plenty of time"