I Wanna Be A Boss

Well, I've been doodling on this notepad And I been taking telephone calls I can tell this job's at the end of the line And I'm ready for the fall But I been watchin' the boss carefully And he always seems to be havin' a ball And then I scratch my head and wonder Why I'm down here and he's up the hall Now, all of my paychecks aren't worth The paper they're printed on I get 'em Friday But Monday they're all gone There must be some way to change my situation It's time that I took up a brand new vocation I wanna take a two-week vacation Twenty-six times a year, add 'em up When I fly to exotic places My jet will be a Lear I'll need several secretaries Just to jot down notes I'll wear Gucci loafers And expensive shirts And blue, executive, exotic coats Chorus: 'Cause I, I said I wanna be a boss (I wanna be, I wanna be) I, I said I wanna be a boss And I'll have people workin' under me And this lousy job I'll toss I, I said I wanna be a boss Well, I'll drive in fancy cars Well, no, maybe I'll just cruise With a limo––and a chauffeur, TV, telephone, and booze Tinted windows so the common folk Can't see me here inside Maybe every now and then for fun I'll give some old coot a ride Then maybe I'll slip him A thousand dollar bill Then he'll smile and shake my hand And I'll put him in my will I'm gonna count up all my widgets And digits, and all my stuff I'll make millions in a day But it'll never be enough Nope––not enough! Chorus: 'Cause I, I said I wanna be a boss And I just wanna take a four-hour lunch And eat a steak with A1 Sauce I, I said I wanna be a boss And I'll buy up every stock there is From ITT to Doctor Ross I, I said I wanna be a boss (I wanna be, I wanna be) Now if I find a product I like I'll buy up the whole company Shave my face, and grin and smile And then I'll sell it on TV And everyone will know me I'll be more famous than Howard Hughes I'll grow a long beard and watch Ice Station Zebra in the nude And grow my nails like Fu-Manchu Keep a row of specimen jars Get other people to work for me––well Maybe I'll buy the planet Mars, and Build an amusement park up there Better than old Walt's place You'll have to be a millionaire to go We'll smoke cigars and lounge in lace Talk the talk of businessmen And bosses that we are So here's to me––the drinks are free–– 'Cause I just bought this bar Yeah––yeah, I wanna be a boss I wanna be a boss, boss, boss! Some kinda intergalactic boss!