Colorado Kool-Aid

I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas Been drinking Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans And we was... Uh, what's that you say? What's Colorado Kool-Aid? Well, it's a can of Coors, brewed from a mountain stream Why hell, it'll set your head on fire and make your kidneys scream Ooh, it sure is fine Yeah, and we was having ourselves what you call One of them real good times But you know, every beer joint that you've ever been in Some big mean drunk, who just ain't got no friends, sure enough wants to fight Yeah, he gon' whoop everything in sight Well, sir, he took him a big cold swaller of beer And he walked over and spit it in my Mexican's friend's ear Well, now, sure enough, that made my buddy real mad 'Cause, that's something like he ain't never had Well, sir, he pulled out a big long switchblade knife And quick as a whistle, he begin to slice And that big mean drunk stood back; his face full of tears Lookin' down at the floor at one of his ears Hm, well, he cut that thing off even with the sideburn Now you might say that that little old Mexican fella just didn't give a dern But he was a gentleman about it He bent over with a half-way grin, he picked it up and handed it back to him And he said, "now, big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer Just open up your hand there and spit it in your own ear Won't be no trouble that way" That's what I heard him say And I said barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid And while you're up there, bring this fella a box of Band-Aids Now, let me tell ya, if you ever ridin' down in south Texas And you decide to stop and drink some Colorado Kool-Aid And maybe talk to some Mexicans And you get the urge to get a little tough Let me tell ya, you better make damn sure you got your knife-proof earmuffs Hey, ain't that right, big man? I said, ain't that right, big man? Oh, hell, he can't hear, not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear Hey, barmaid! Bring us a big glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid How about it, how you doin', big man? You still got your ear in your hand? Hehehe, gee Lordy