Kansas City

I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y By Saturd'y I learned a thing or two 'Cause up to then I didn't have an idea Of what the modren world was comin' to I counted twenty gas-buggies going by themselves Almost every time I took a walk Then I put my ear to a bell telephone And a strange woman started in to talk! What next? Yeah what? What next?! Everything's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as far as they can go! They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high About as high as a building oughta grow! Everything's like a dream in Kansas City! It's better than a magic lantern show You can turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat With every kind of comfort, every house is all complete You can walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet! They've gone about as far as they can go Yes sir! They've gone about as far as they can go! Come here! Everything's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as far as they can go They got a big theatre they call a burlesque For fifty cents you can see a dandy show One of the girls was fat and pink and pretty As round above as she was round below I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel But later in the second act, when she began to peel She proved that everything she had was absolutely real! She went about as far as she could go Yes sir! She went about as far as she could go! And that's about as far as I can go! Yes sir! That's about as far as she can go! We've gone about as far as we can go! We've gone about as far as we can go!