Chopping Up the Teacher

There are some things That I have done in life That made me ashamed And I keep from the wife Like the stains of butter crumpets That spilt on the page Where they will remain Someday I'll confess To all those crimes But right now I'd like to say that I am guilty of the crime Of choppin' up the teacher Choppin' up the teacher It was I Yes I am guilty of the crime Of choppin' up the teacher It was I It was those cricket scores That made my claws sink in Oh that bloody gin He told us to go fetch her Though a pterodactyl hatched her So I chopped off his head And went to bed Like I said It's me who's guilty of the crime Of choppin' up the teacher Choppin' up the teacher It was I Yes I am guilty of the crime Of choppin' up the teacher It was I He said trouble it will come From the headmaster And he'll make a right disaster of your bum And my parents they were called And my dad he was appalled When police reported I'd not done the lot Younger parents do distrust Our puplic schools Well they're fucking fools Cause would the world be better Without paranoid cross dressers I don't think so I'd miss 'em And so would I He is guilty of the crime Of choppin' up the teacher Choppin up the teacher It was him Yes he is guilty of the crime Of choppin' up the teacher It was him Everybody Yes he is guilty of the crime Of choppin' up the teacher Choppin up the teacher It was him Yes he is guilty of the crime Of choppin' up the teacher It was him