There's No 'Too Soon' If Time Is Relative

I don't feel like moving

Don't feel like talking

I'm feeling a little Stephen Hawking today

I barely feel like rolling

There's no way I'm rocking

I'm feeling a little Stephen Hawking

Hey, hey, hey

When I saw him on TV, I thought he looked crazy

Then my friend told me that he's just really lazy

So lazy he could only write "A Brief History of Time"

He may be smart, but to me, he's just a creepy, narcoleptic mime

I wanna be like Stephen

So I'm gonna walk uneven

And having trouble breathing

Hey, hey, hey

I'm gonna live by gravitational law

I'm gonna try to drink a cheeseburger through a straw

And make my hand look more like a lobster claw

Hey, hey, hey

But being Stephen must be kind of a drag

It looks like even his teeth are starting to sag

I thought he had a tail he was trying to wag

But then I learned the tail was a tube

'Cause he's so lazy that he poops in a colostomy bag

Oh Stephen, oh Stephen

You give me something to believe in

Don't wanna hear him, don't wanna see him

I think he might have melted in a wax museum

Oh Stephen, oh Stephen

Are you a robot posing as a human being?

Oh Stephen, oh Stephen

You give us all a super creepy feeling