The Elixir of Exactly Eight Hours of Sleep T.M.

Having trouble falling asleep, but too worried about next-day grogginess to reach for the medicine cabinet? Or perhaps you have a big day planned tomorrow, but it just happens to include operating heavy machinery? Do I have the sleeping draught for you!

The Elixir of Exactly Eight Hours of SleepTM

A half bud of lavender,

one twelfth of a clove,

An eighth petal narcissus,

and a tenth petal rose.

then work in a mortar,

until finely mashed.

Add a single drop water

and stir thrice around,

then using a pinhead,

apply to the crown.

Then off into slumber,

this elixir will guide,

and in eight hours exactly,

refreshed, you, arise.

Side effects may include:

Brief stints of spontaneous astral projection, slight resistance to the usual effects of gravity, and, in some rare cases, polymorphic transformations, which are sometimes accompanied by minor episodes of somnambulism.