I'm So Good In Bed

Sometimes late at night when the world is asleep

I close my eyes and think of you

And then I get the notion

To grab me some lotion

Do to me what I'd like to do to you

I'm so good in bed

I'm proud to say

I'm my own best slave

All I need's dirty magazine

And a little hand cream

And I'm on my way

You guys are great

When I was a little bitty boy

My parents were poor, I had no toys

So learned to play with myself

Well, I learned real good, practice night and day, and

I guess I'm here to say that no one can do me like I do myself

I'm so good in bed

I'm proud to say

I'm my own best slave

All I need's a dirty magazine

And a little hand cream

And I'm on my way

That's Betty fist in the Finger Sisters

Pluckin' my twanger

You know when I was growing up

My mama told me that when you play with yourself

All your dead relatives are watchin'

Then I figured who were they gonna tell

Here's the chorus again

I'm so good in bed

I'm proud to say

I'm my own best slave

All I need's a dirty magazine

And a little hand cream

And I'm on my way

Just the girls this time

I'm so good in bed

I'm proud to say

I'm my own best slave

All I need's a dirty magazine

And a little hand cream

And I'm on my way

One more time everybody

I'm so good in bed

I'm proud to say

I'm my own best slave

All I need's a dirty magazine

And a little hand cream

And I'm on my way

Bang!

Thank you very much, that was terrific

Thank you very much, that was really good

That was fucking great

Robert Schimmel