Please Don't Touch Me

Dream all you want my darling Of every lustful situation Those naughty thoughts Are fine with me As long as they Stay locked away In your imagination You can hug me til I scream If it's only in a dream But please don't touch me You can feel me til I squeal Just as long as it's not real But please don't touch me You can stick me You can lick me You can pinch me til I'm blue You can bite me And delight me til I'm blind You can savage me And ravage me I care not what you do If the lovely filthy things you do Are only in your mind You can spank me til I'm red If it's only in your head But please don't touch me You can have me don't you see If it's just a fantasy But please don't touch me Oh Freddie, darling, I know that you're a virgin Yes, for me, science has always come first And as every guy in New York knows I come first too After our wedding You'll be oh so glad we waited Until then Take cold showers when you're overstimulated Anticipation is sublime And although you might think I'm A tease Please don't touch me Oh everybody look! How unique. They're not touching It must be "Please Don't Touch Me" The new dance craze That's sweeping Catholic girl schools all over the Midwest Oh what fun! Let's try it Please don't Please don't Please don't touch me Do not hug us Do not drug us Do not slug us til we cry Do not throb us Till you rob us of our wits We won't poke you We won't stroke you Til we're just about to die But even in your wildest dreams Don't dare to touch our tits Don't dare to touch our tits Don't dare to touch our tits Don't touch our tits Don't touch our tits Don't touch our Tits, tits, tits, tits Tits, tits, tits, tits Tits! Our tits! When we're absolutely wed You can do it til we're dead Elizabeth! Til then please, please, please We're down on our knees Please keep your hands off these Please don't touch me We won't touch you Please don't touch me We won't touch you She's so touchy OH!