Be Our Guest

Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride And greatest pleasure that we welcome you here tonight And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair As the dining room proudly presents Your dinner Be our guest, be our guest Put our service to the test Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie And we'll provide the rest Soup du jour Hot hors d'oeuvres We only live to serve Try the grey stuff It's delicious Don't believe me? Ask the dishes They can sing, they can dance After all, Miss, this is France And a dinner here is never second best Go on, unfold your menu Take a glance and then you'll Be our guest Oui, our guest Be our guest Lumiere and Beef ragout Cheese souffle Pie and pudding "en flambe" We'll prepare and serve with flair A culinary cabaret You're alone And you're scared But the banquet's all prepared No one's gloomy or complaining While the flatware's entertaining We tell jokes, I do tricks With my fellow candlesticks And it's all in perfect taste That you can bet Come on and lift your glass You've won your own free pass To be out guest If you're stressed It's fine dining we suggest Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest Get your worries off your chest Let us say for your entree We've an array; may we suggest Try the bread, try the soup When the croutons loop de loop It's a treat for any dinner Don't believe me? Ask the china Singing pork, dancing veal What an entertaining meal How could anyone be gloomy and depressed? We'll make you shout "encore!" And send us out for more So, be our guest Be our guest Be our guest It's a guest, it's a guest Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed Wine's been poured and thank the Lord I've had the napkins freshly pressed With dessert, she'll want tea And my dear that's fine with me While the cups do their soft-shoein' I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing I'll get warm, piping hot Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot? Clean it up, we want the company impressed We've got a lot to do Is it one lump or two? For you, our guest She's our guest She's our guest She's our guest Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest! Life is so unnerving For a servant who's not serving He's not whole without a soul to wait upon Ah, those good old days when we were useful Suddenly those good old days are gone Ten years we've been rusting Needing so much more than dusting Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills Most days we just lay around the castle Flabby, fat and lazy You walked in and oops-a-daisy Be our guest, be our guest Our command is your request It's been years since we've had anybody here And we're obsessed With your meal, with your ease Yes, indeed, we aim to please While the candlelight's still glowing Let us help you, we'll keep going Course by course, one by one 'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!" Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest Tonight you'll prop your feet up But for now, let's eat up Be our guest Be our guest Be our guest Please, be our guest