Robin Goodfellow

PUCK

Please help me I’m destitute

I’ve been roughed up by a brute

Just then in the forest I was mugged from behind

Would you lend a pound or two?

That would be so kind of you

Help a beaten beggar – one who’s starving and blind!

Oh thank you!

TURNIP

Hang on for a second – think I smell a rat!

SPRITES CHORUS

Is it Puck the prankster?

MUSTARDSEED

Well fancy that!

COBWEB

Another hoax

SPRITES CHORUS

Goodfellow!

COBWEB

He’s jokes!

SPRITES CHORUS

Goodfellow!

PEASEBLOSSOM

Be warned – he’ll catch you off your guard

MUSTARDSEED

Not hard!

SPRITES CHORUS

You’ll bid good day and say ‘manana’

Then slip on a banana

Old fashioned slapstick

Is sure to make this elf tick

PEASEBLOSSOM

His jolly japes

Will get you

In scrapes

I bet you

Right now he’s dreaming up a trick

COBWEB

He’s sick!

MUSTARDSEED

I think he’s something of a genius

Although his tricks are heinous

Sprites Chorus

His hullabaloo

Will make a fool out of you

Take it away!

PUCK

When you’re bored and feel like rocking the boat

TURNIP

What should you do?

PUCK

Play a prank - always the best antidote

I have a special predilection -

I’m adept at fart projection

With my stealth and aplomb

I launch a crafty stink bomb

SPRITES CHORUS

Completely gross!

PUCK

Most of all I love the crude, the absurd

COBWEB

Who would have guessed?

PUCK

What you thought was sausage turns into turd

The ladies sipping on Darjeeling

Fail to spot I dashed some wee in

COBWEB

Such an immature jinx

Imagine spiking their drinks!?

PUCK

My name is Puck

Or Robin

Some say hobgoblin

But don’t confuse with those greedy thugs

Speaking of which it would be smashing

To give them all a thrashing

If you want knockabout

Just give Goodfellow a shout

You’d be surprised

In battle

Disguised

As cattle

I pump out pats and make a real quagmire

To some it may appear unseemly

But think you just may need me

Kill the rumours abroad

I’m not Old Nick, the dark Lord

Of course, could do it yourself

But hey trust me I’m an elf!

MUSTARDSEED

Connoisseur of mischief –

SPRITES CHORUS

King of petty crime –

PUCK

Let’s get strategising

COBWEB

You’re just in time!