The Bachelor System

It's work man, it's great, you know

It was tough getting married for me, you know

I was a bachelor a long time

I was a bachelor my entire life before I got married

My wife moved into my house, that was hard on me

Had my own bachelor system, she threw it off the first day

First day she was there, she turned on my oven

Almost burned up all my important papers

Because that's a vault to a bachelor, I never cooked in it

I kept my money in my checkbook in there

Because I always figured the places catches on fire

The oven ain't going to burn

There's always some guys out there going "That's a good idea"

That boy's a genius, I don't know why he's doing comedy

I didn't have enough towels

I didn't know about your towel fetish, ladies

She came out of the bathroom that first day

"You don't have enough towels"

I'm like what you talking about

I got two, all right?

See, this is wet, this is dry

Tomorrow that will be wet, then this will be dry

Then that'll be wet, then this will be dry

You flip-flop for a month and you throw them away

What's the big deal?

Go to a hotel, grab a couple more

And then she said, "You don't have any sheets"

I go, yeah, I do, look on the windows

That's why they're fitted

And I figured out you women have a dream problem, don't you, ladies?

Y'all have a dream and we do something wrong in the dream

Then when you wake up, you can't separate that from reality?

Hear me you, fellas, they wake you up like four in the morning

Just looking at you

Man, you just laying there going, "what?"

You don't believe what you just did

I was sleeping, wasn't I?

Maybe you were, and maybe you weren't

We need to talk