The Next American Slasher

I was a hand model, the best of the best

Every day they were cuttin' those cheques

I was on top, a big spender

'Til my wig got caught in a blender

I panicked, I tried to get it out

But my hand got stuck and it never came out

Now I innovate, got a hook for a hand

And I made my ugly feet my brand

I hook them with my looks

Then I hook them with my hook

I drain their blood and their bank accounts

Keep the millionaires shook

Are you ready?

I'm the next American slasher

Watch your back 'cuz your blood's what I'm after

Hey kitty cat, you might be fast but I'm faster

Singing a-yo a-yo a-yo

I'm gonna hunt you down

A-yo a-yo a-yo

I'm gonna hunt you down

Meow

I used to work at the mall from 9 to 5

At stuff a plushie workshop Plush For Life

Loved my job 'til a Karen complained

It's not my fault that I went insane!

Now pour little Timmy's without his mama

But he's better off without her drama

I scooped out her blood and her guts and her bones

Stuffed her with cotton, sewed her mouth closed

I got my own startup, I work from home

Sewing up Karen, selling her clothes

It's not a lot but it's an honest life

And now I know my way around a knife

I'm the next American slasher

Watch your back 'cuz your blood's what I'm after

Hey kitty cat, you might be fast but I'm faster

Singing a-yo a-yo a-yo

I'm gonna hunt you down

A-yo a-yo a-yo

I'm gonna hunt you down

Meow

911, what's your emergency?

My best friend said we'd be friends for life

'Til she took my man so she had to die

I chopped her up and took a bite

Yeah the bitch was damn good over rice

Dead is dead and facts is facts

I'mma eat your mum, I'mma eat your dad

I'mma make you watch and eat you last

'Cuz honey I'm a cannibal like that

Painted for the cell block, painted for the walk off

Painted for the murders 'til they can't talk talk

Killer looks, killer hooks

Nails studded and sharp, leave them dead leave them cooked

Murder weapons in the front in the back

Got my fork, got my knife, I'mma eat you alive

Can't let good meat go to waste

Got that cannibal life got that cannibal taste

I'm the next American slasher

Watch your back 'cuz your blood's what I'm after

Hey kitty cat, you might be fast but I'm faster

Singing a-yo a-yo a-yo

I'm gonna hunt you down

A-yo a-yo a-yo

I'm gonna hunt you down

Meow