Adelaide's Lament

Look, Adelaide, you're getting yourself upset

You and I are gonna be alright!

After all, we love each other, and we're gonna get married!

I don't believe you anymore!

But it's true!

Aw, you'll feel better tomorrow

Come on, cheer up, honey

Let's see that old smile

That's my girl, see you tomorrow

It says here

The average unmarried female

Basically insecure

Due to some long frustration, may react

With psychosomatic symptoms

Difficult to endure

Affecting the upper respiratory tract

In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold

A person can develop a cold

You can spray her wherever you figure the streptococci lurk

You can give her a shot for whatever she's got, but it just won't work

If she's tired of getting the fish eye from the hotel clerk

A person can develop a cold

It says here

The female remaining single

Just in the legal sense

Shows a neurotic tendency, see note

Tendency, see note?

Oh, see note, oh, oh, here we go, I don't like that

Chronic organic syndromes

Toxic or hyper-tense

Involving the eye, the ear, the nose, and throat

In other words, just from worrying whether the wedding is on or off

A person can develop a cough

You can feed her all day with the vitamin A and the Bromo-fizz

But the medicine never gets anywhere near where the trouble is

If she's getting a kind of a name for herself, and the name ain't his

A person can develop a cough

And furthermore, just from stalling and stalling and stalling the wedding trip

A person can develop la grippe

When they get on the train for Niagara

And she can hear church bells chime

The compartment is air-conditioned

And the mood sublime

Then they get off at Saratoga for the fourteenth time

A person can develop la grippe

La grippe, la post nasal drip

With the wheezes and the sneezes

And a sinus that's really a pip!

From a lack of community property

And a feeling she's getting too old

A person can develop a bad, bad cold

Achoo!