You've had the same toothpaste for as long as I remember. And every time I use it I see a child in the bathroom mirror. The second smallest in my class. In the dark, on his own at the end of Scarborough Pier. Wondering how he got this far and if he'd ever jump from here.

You've had the same loose gate for as long as I remember. In decent light it's beautiful but unhinged, we have weathered together. And I still tear myself apart in the dark, on my own at the end of my tether. Wondering how I got this far and if I'd ever jump from here.

And I hope you are proud of what you have become, my boy. I'm not an author but still write for fun. You should have listened to your dad and learnt guitar when you were young. It'd have saved me as a teen, excusing dropped notes as punk.

And I know there are times where your mind works against you. You'll learn early signs, ride it out and you'll break through. Sommat big is coming where your bro will really need you, so be strong for him, you got this, only run if he comes with you. Don't jump.