Skinny Jeans

It's been a while I suppose

Since I've had to shop for clothes

What's up with the fashion scene

Seems all they make now's skinny jeans

God damn you skinny jeans

Since you've showed up on the scene

I've tried you on but guess I'm stumped

On how I'm supposed to fit my junk

God damn you skinny jeans

In denim shades of blue and green

I look at you and I'm perplexed

On how your fits made unisex

Me wear skinny jeans now hardly

It seems these jeans were made by Barbie

I might not be a perfect ten

But I got parts not made for Ken

God damn you skinny jeans

I need some more space in the seams

I've tried you on but it can't be

You're made for dudes anatomy

God damn you skinny jeans

My legs got something in between

I'm sorry but you just don't fit

If I sit down you're bound to rip

What's up with jeans getting slimmer

There cramping up my little swimmers

So why are dudes around the nation

Cutting off their circulation

God damn you skinny jeans

You pull them up and have to scream

So wear them low and just perhaps

You won't look like you crapped your pants

God damn you skinny jeans

It don't look like you're meant for me

If I ain't cool, at least I'm free

Forget this jeans conspiracy