The morning commute feels like

Getting punched in the penis by a mallet

And then asking a man with a mallet

If he'd like it to do it again after the weekend

My mum said, "Work hard in school," so I did

Why am I more miserable than the kids that didn't?

What the fuck happen to 2020 vision?

I spent most of my time that year in a prison

I'm getting higher than average house price

Three pound pints so I go ahead and down mines

How long 'til we're paying to go outside?

Three pound pints so I go ahead and down mine

Ma, you didn't tell me this is how it'll be

Though life would be fine if you found a degree

Yeah, I'm looking for a three pound pints

Three pound pints, anyone?

It's unusual

I go to the shop and there is 50 million types of bottled water

That doesn't seem very useful

One notion

David Attenborough makes me feel like shit for using a straw

While BP takes oil spill wanks in the ocean

I'm getting higher than average house price

Three pound pints so I go ahead and down mines

How long 'til we're paying to go outside

Three pound pints so I go ahead and down mine

Ma, you didn't tell me this is how it'll be

Though life would be fine if you find a degree

Yeah, I'm looking for three pound pints

Three pound pints, anyone?

What annoying day

The government can lie about pretty much everything

But I get fired for taking excessively long toilet breaks

It's awesome

People say go back to where you came from

(Go back to where you came from!)

I was literally born in Portsmouth, been here most of my life

I'm getting higher than average house price

Three pound pints so I go ahead and down mines

How long 'til we're paying to go outside?

Three pound pints so I go ahead and down mine

Ma, you didn't tell me this is how it'll be

Though life would be fine if you found a degree

Yeah, I'm looking for a three pound pints

Three pound pints, anyone?

Was a very powerful thing, but became very arrogant

And um, started to really intrigue people and just be bothered about anything

Kill people, just became ruthlessly drunk-

(Was he good at something?)