So this is what honesty sounds like?

My voice don't even recognize me

Uh (uh), I don't really talk, I just bottle it deep

Say I'm good when I'm not, then collapse in my sleep

Guess I mastered the art of pretendin' I'm fine

But I been chokin' on words that been trapped in my mind

Never told 'em 'bout the nights I cried in the dark

How I smiled in the light just to cover the scars

How I buried my fears 'cause the world don't care

They just say, "Man up," like emotions ain't there

Can I be honest without bein' seen as weak?

Can I admit that some days I can't even speak?

That the mirror don't show what the world wanna see?

It shows a broken kid just dyin' to be free

I ain't scared of pain, I've lived with it for years

What scares me the most is exposin' these tears

Like, what if they hear me and still walk away?

What if I open my soul, and they got nothin' to say?

Started way back, when I learned to survive

Not to feel, just function, just keep hope alive

When dad left the house and mom broke inside

I became a man too early to stem the tide

I was nine with a jaw clenched tight like steel

Learned to swallow my truth just to help them heal

Had no outlet, so I wrote in notebooks and bled

Every rhyme I spit now was once thoughts in my head

And I hate that I still crave love I don't trust

Like, how do you need people but fear them that much?

Every time I open up, it ends in regret

So, I shut down fast like I'm dodgin' a threat

I don't let 'em get close, that's my self-defense

Smiles ain't real, they just masks that I rent

And I know this ain't healthy, I been knew that

But trauma don't leave just 'cause you say, "Relax"

I buried versions of me that I ain't mourned yet

Pieces I killed just to cope with regret

Now I'm stitched with survival and silence and shame

Walkin' therapy sessions that don't got a name (don't got a name)

You know what hurts the most? (Hurts the most)

I don't even know who I am when I ain't in control

When I ain't in protect mode, when I drop that role

What's left behind the armor? Just a soul that's cold

I've lost friends, lost time, lost sleep and peace

Told myself it's all fine, but that lie runs deep

Never told nobody that I hated myself

That I been in rooms thinkin' I should end myself (I should end myself)

But I'm here, still breathin', still scarred but standin'

Still pennin' these truths even when they feel damnin'

Still peelin' back layers just to find what's real

Still prayin' one day I'll remember how to feel

This ain't a cry for help, this is just me unspoken

A lifetime of silence finally broken

So, doc, if you're listenin', please don't try to fix

Just let me talk for once, let me exist (let me exist)

And maybe healin' don't mean no pain

Maybe it's just not walkin' with it every day

Maybe it's not about erasin' the past

But learnin' to live without wearin' a mask (without wearin' a mask)

I'm tired of measurin' worth in how much I endure

Of thinkin' I matter more if I suffer more

Like my pain gotta be art, or my tears gotta rhyme

Like I can't just break without dressin' it in lines

I got so used to people not stayin'

That I stopped expectin' anyone to care what I'm sayin'

So, I vent to these pages, bleed ink 'til it's done

And pretend I'm okay in the face of the sun

But I'm human, I break, I bend, I fall

I got demons in my phone that don't answer my calls

I got friends I outgrew 'cause they loved the facade

Not the me that's been grievin', not the me that's been flawed

If I'm real, will they leave? If I'm silent, do they stay?

If I vanished for a week, would it matter anyway?

I don't even need answers, I just need to be heard

Need someone to listen without twistin' my words (twistin' my words)

So, this is what honesty sounds like? (Honesty sounds like)

And yeah, my voice don't even recognize me (even recognize me)

But maybe that's the point (maybe that's the point)

Maybe healin' starts

When you stop lyin' to yourself (stop lyin' to yourself)

This ain't for the charts (no)

This is a letter from the part of me I always discard

And if you feel me, even once, then I did my part (did my part)

'Cause silence never healed

What was breakin' in my heart (breakin' in my heart)

(Da-da-dah, da-da-dah, da-da-dah)

(Da-da-dah, da-da-dah, da-da-dah)