I'm callin out Flat-Earthers

But not with the typical missives they hit you with

I got a gripe with the group but unlike all of you

I am irked by their lack of initiative

Cause there's mountains of evidence that help make it clear

That our planet's a shape and that shape is a sphere

And I fear that insisting we've already won

Will prevent us from doing whats yet to be done

Cause I have a dream and I need you to get with it

Earth isn't flat and if you, too, are sick of it

Join us, help us, spread thin and overwhelmed but

The Earth isn't flat yet and damn does that compel us

When there's no way, here's our will

We won't die on this hill

We're not Flat-Earthers... we're Earth-Flatteners

We'll get much further than that tin foil hat of yours

We work all day to achieve the great flattening

A pancake shape is a bit more... Flattering!

There's no subscription fee, neither monthly nor annual

Just one flat rate and we'll hand you the manual

We'll start with the mountains 'cause how could we not

When the low-hanging fruit is the highest of rocks

Once we're smooth as a cue ball we'll need to start kneading

Then plan the next steps at our quarterly meeting

Cause I have a dream and now you're in the thick of it

Earth isn't flat and we're all just plane sick of it

Join us, help us, make coins and coasters jealous

The Earth isn't flat (yeah, you do not have to tell us)

When there's no way, here's our will

We won't die on this hill

We work all day to achieve the great flattening

Cause a pancake shape is a bit more... What was it? Flattering!

Alright, first meeting's in session, let's do a role call

We don't actually use the word "roll" here, it's a little too... spherical

Alright but we gotta have a name

I'm thinking Ball Busters the way we're bustin' this ball

We gotta have a motto, let me think, how 'bout: One side fits all!

Let's pray to smother Earth and find our worth with F'in E's

Now let's get to work and pound the dirt and see who still believes in Flattering!

And faith can move mountains but damn, when I'm done with 'em

Moles will look down on the ground that's become of 'em

Some of your dreams might be better forgotten

But if you're like me and thats never an option...

Join us, help us, we employ the overzealous

The Earth isn't flat but our dream is parallel-less

Head to china, grab your chisel, I will meet you in the middle

We're not Flat-Earthers, we're Earth-Flatteners...

And I had a dream, but whether it's happening

You all believed and damn is it FLATTERING