Christmas Is B******t

Well, Christmas is here It sends shivers up my spine Cuz this part of the year Is my least favorite time I don't stuff stockings I don't buy dead trees I only like shopping If the shopping is for me The food makes me fatter Christmas cookies taste like wood Ugly sweaters don't flatter And I prefer to look good The weather is nasty The crowds are insane Don't be mad at me But I just gotta say Christmas Christmas is bullshit I hate the music And pretending winter is fun It's the worst season (Everybody knows it) Christmas Christmas is bullshit I don't wanna do it Let me skip this one So I can have fun You can call me a killjoy A curmudgeon, a grinch But I call it like I see it And I won't give an inch I don't need Santa I can buy shit for myself I don't care about Job security for an elf Traditions don't matter Sometimes they're obscene Let me give an example So you see what I mean Name one other time You would ever drink egg nog If you don't like what I'm sayin' You can suck my yule log, cuz Christmas Christmas is bullshit I hate the music And pretending winter is fun It's the worst season (Everybody knows it) Christmas Christmas is bullshit I don't wanna do it Let me skip this one So I can have fun Now I know what you're gonna say You're gonna say, "Maybe you don't like Christmas, Because you haven't met the right Christmas yet." But we all know, that's not how that works. I've tried Christmas 35 times! It's NOT WORKING FOR ME But they say don't complain about a Problem without offering a solution Fine. Next year, no Christmas. Just two Halloweens! Christmas Christmas is bullshit Nobody likes it All the smiles are fake Nobody wants no fruitcake (throw that shit out) Christmas Christmas is bullshit We don't have to do it We can skip this one So we can have fun This song is done