Despondency

These shadows grow faster than I can tell Dismissed fears contort as misfigured dreams If I can never know, how can I change them? Close my eyes, countdown, and pretend it's all fine How can they not understand They won't stop till they reprimand I'm just alone in their eyes But it's different in my mind Only myself is left to betray Though shadows have followed from my grave Warm and kind touch turns to cold restraints Broken walls won't protect when they see right through you Confess, why do you stare through me? Maybe it's the padded walls they see? Someone please say this isn't right These shadows that are all of my dread Don't tell me that they're all in my head Outside and blurred our scholar eyes pry As a shattered man screams a lie How can they never see All the specters that are haunting me I'm just alone in their eyes But it's different in my mind You can't pass judgment on how my life is spent With no hope of regress, ignorance Controls all of the mistreatments I feel the white fog start to grip my throat Strapped down, the needle, it starts to reload Again the phantoms pull me back into their hold Dark shadows in the night Ask for me, there is no flight My fight has all but left, I fear Me, the envoy, a blinded seer I will fight, cry, beg, and plead Hoping they'll see what I see This unfit stage of tattered souls Takes root, and I start to lose hold Soft voices tell me to hush And slowly I can feel the rush A dark sleep comes from within As needles work into the skin