Dewey's Confession

He's an imposter! This is the real Ned Schneebly, and this loser is Dewey Finn He's not even a teacher! He can barely read! Alright, yes I confess that my actual name is Dewey Finn (No!) Yes indeed And although you should know I'm not licensed to teach, I promise you, I can read (Oh my god!) But forget who or what I might happen to be These children of yours have truly touched me And I can assure you I have definitely touched them (What? Excuse me?) Well, most of them I got it through She had no clue We're gonna sue Where is she? That pile of epic fail! How (Were you asleep?) Could you allow (That little creep) Him past His ass belongs in jail! Fifty thousand bucks a year How could he have happened here! Just calm down How You'll tell us how And that People please! Just calm down now I implore you There's no need to be alarmed (Here at Horace Green) And I hasten to assure you that no children here were harmed (A total outrage) While this criminal intrusion is unacceptable at best (We want answers) Let's not jump to conclusions 'til the damage is assessed Here at Horace Green, Jesus it's obscene (If there's anyone to blame, the fault's completely mine) We'll pull our children, send them elsewhere (I am why he came here, if I must I will resign) Somewhere we can trust! Here at Horace Green, how could this (Now I got your attention I think we can confirm) Just LISTEN! (HAPPEN!) Sorry to inform you, that all of your children, are missing