Dream Envy

It's five AM as I approach the bridge In envy of old friends who still sleep in They were jaded then and they're jaded now Climbing social trees as I fell out Rich kids in bad parts of town A social scene in which they now have drown It's no way to live Sitting on the fence asking myself what if I dwell on times we had before the 21 I grew up and you're all still always drunk If I never got shot out I wonder where I'd be Still cashing out to drink my self-esteem I get caught up but I know it's no way to live Another sheltered Jersey kid moves across the bridge It's no way to live Sitting on the fence asking myself what if I try to wake I try to wake Obsession overtakes my state I'm standing up but stuck in place Standing still in dreams that I should chase I'm sorry I try to bring you down when I see myself as less I know you're not so bad and I'm not quite the best I realize now that we will never be the same I was wired all wrong and just want someone to blame It'll only be just one until I need one more And back to habits I can't handle or afford And honestly I just envy the freedoms that I lost When I crossed the unseen line I can't uncross