Glamazonian Airways, Pt. 1

Welcome aboard Glamazonian Airways Hello everybody! Is during this evening! Hello, welcome aboard, welcome aboard, I'm Miss Valerie Valentine I'm your economy slash coach stewardess, or you could call me a flight attendant But I don't care for that word "attendant" 'Cause it makes me sound like a weirdo, somebody I'm not I appreciate your attention at this time We should be taking off shortly I would expect all kind of madness and turbulence to ensue Please fully recline your chairs, turn on the massage function And get ready to be happy, hunt Welcome aboard, Glamazonian Airways, The Queens of the Sky There are 8, 000 people on board! Now listen up Looking for an exit I'll make it clear There are two in the front but only one in the rear You don't come for shit unless you a frequent flyer Smoking ain't allowed unless your pussy on fire Oh, we keep our wigs in the overhead bins (we do) Oh, so none of your shit is gonna fit in (sorry bout it) If you drink enough alcohol you can fly anywhere, and you don't need a plane There's a seat belt, seat belt in each of your seats It's there to make you skinny It's gonna be pulled real tight, real tight, real tight, real tight Tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter Tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter... Now really that is far too tight How do you expect anyone to breathe? When the oxygen mask drop down Soaring through clouds and everyone feels it Sucking it in and then out, getting so high We can't believe it All your troubles, they'll still be Simply come imagination Take my hands and fly with me On a Transworld transportation There's a man on the window of the plane It's a woman! It's a man! It's a woman! It's a man! I believe they call them "drag queens"