Dust and Ashes

Is this how I die? Ridiculed and laughed at Wearing clown shoes Is this how I die Furious and reckless Sick with booze How did I live? I taste every wasted minute Every time I turned away From the things that might have healed me How long have I been sleeping? Is this how I die? Frightened like a child Lazy and numb Is this how I die? Pretending and preposterous And dumb How did I live? Was I kind enough and good enough? Did I love enough? Did I ever look up and see the moon And the stars and the sky? Oh, why have I been sleeping? They say we are asleep until we fall in love We are children of dust and ashes But when we fall in love we wake up And we are a God and angels weep But if I die here tonight I die in my sleep All of my life has been searching the words Of poets, and saints, and prophets, and kings And now at the end all I know that I've learned Is that all that I know Is I don't know a thing So easy to close off Place the blame outside Hiding in my room at night So terrified All the things I could've been But I never had the nerve Life and love I don't deserve So I'll write, alright I've had my time Close my eyes Let the death bells chime Bury me in burgundy I just don't care Nothing's left I've looked everywhere Is this how I die? Was there ever any other way my life could be? Is this how I die? Such a storm of feelings inside of me But then, why am I screaming? Why am I shaking? Oh God, was there something that I missed? Did I squander my divinity? Was happiness within me the whole time? They say we are asleep until we fall in love We are children of dust and ashes But when we fall in love we wake up And we are a God and angels weep But if I die here tonight I die in my sleep They say we are asleep until we fall in love And I'm so ready to wake up now I wanna wake up Don't let me die while I'm like this I wanna wake up God, don't let me die while I'm like this Please let me wake up now God don't let me die while I'm like this I am ready I'm ready To wake up