Introspective Nightmares

Self critical to the point of lunacy Thinking of the things I have done and what I have become Everything always hanging in a delicate balance Decent into drunken apathy throwing caution to the wind As the dark horses ride the shores of night I awake inside a paralyzed state Frozen in a life of constant turmoil I must free my mind So turn that bottle up Turn up the metal To cancel all the frustration To delay and disrupt the horrid engrams Introspective nightmares Festering in my mind My conscience fills with pus and maggots That decay as they turn to flies Swarming around distorting my thoughts Then drowning in the irresistible rot I try to kill them with the consumption of poison And thus begins the purge of mental blood clots No escape No respite Only suffering wandering aimlessly in this intoxicated haze No escape from the inner voices No respite from these twisted visions The only way to achieve temporary serenity Is excessive consumption of vial liquid Then once I fall into enchanted slumber Too drunk to awake from this horrible introspective nightmare As the light grows dim And this life slips though my fingers Never did I care if it was meaningful Just another waste of existence One hazy day blurring into another Time itself becomes irrelevant I must evade the terror Before my journey is complete on this earth