The Dog Song

If the head was smaller

If the tail were longer

If he faced the water

If the paws were hidden

If the neck was darker

If the back was curved

More like the parasol

More shape

More tail

More grass

Would you like some more grass?

Hmm

Ruff, ruff

Thanks, the week has been rough

When you're stuck for life on a garbage skull

Only forty feet long from stern to prow

And a crackpot in the bow, wow, rough

The planks are rough, and the wind is rough

And the master's drunk and mean and gruff, gruff

With the fish and scum and planks and ballast

The nose gets numb, and the paws get calloused

And with splinters in your ass, you look forward to the grass on Sunday

The day off

Off, off, off

Off

The grass needs to be thicker

Perhaps a few weeds with some ants if you would

I love fresh ants

Roaming around on Sunday

Poking amongst the roots and rocks

Nose to the ground on Sunday

Studying all the shoes and socks

Everything's worth it Sunday

The day off

Bits of pastry, piece of chicken

There's a handkerchief that somebody was sick in

There's a thistle, that's a shallot

That's a dripping from the loony with the pallet

Yap, yap

Yap

Out for a day on Sunday

Off my lady's lap at last

Yapping away on Sunday

Helps you forget the week, just past

Everything's worth it Sunday

The day off

Yap

Stuck all week on a lady's lap

Nothing to do but yawn and nap

Can you blame me if I yap?

Nope

There's just so much attention a dog can take

Being alone on Sunday

Rolling around in mud and dirt

Begging a a bone on Sunday

Settling for a spoiled dessert

Everything's worth it Sunday

The day off

Oh, something fuzzy

Something furry

Something pink that someone tore off in a hurry

What's the muddle in the middle

That's the puddle where the poodle did the piddle