Freshman

I miss you when you were a freshman in high school

And I was too, sitting behind you in a classroom

And at 2, you'd get up and I would get up with you

And I was so desperate to grab onto you and pull

I know that you would hate me

If I would be honest enough

And actually honestly

I might prefer it to love

If you don't wanna gently

Wet the roof of my mouth

I wouldn't mind if you

Spit on my face at all

I liked you, an ignorant freshman in high school

And I was too stupid to consider talking to you

The same way that you would

Talk to me after school

I was fifteen, times stupider than you

The juxtaposition of your

Unwashed hair

And your filthy mouth

And your dark blank stare

With your shiny new iPhone

And your MacBook Air

Makes me wanna throw up

And you'll never care

There's something cute

About being a freshman in high school

And masturbating while thinking about someone

Who hates you and salivating whenever he walks

Into the room and fucking praying he'll tell you

How bad he wants to rape you

And never knowing exactly the way that he feels

And savoring the flavor of his fresh scarred heels

And the money that it's worth

'Cause of his nicotine withdrawals

And doing all of his homework

In exchange for being acknowledged

I miss you when you were a freshman in high school

And I was too, sitting behind you in a classroom

And at 2, you'd get up and I would get up with you

And I was so desperate to grab onto you