The World According to Chris

Guess what? Ever since the world began Same plot, everyone's been dumping on their fellow man Pounding people they feel better than I hope you're taking notes, 'cause You feel everyone deserves a shot Get real, some of us have got it, girl and some got squat That's the truth, oh honey, like it or not I hate to break it to you My daddy taught me you get nowhere being nice So now I'm sharing his advice The world according to Chris is Better to strike than get struck Better to screw than get screwed You'd probably think it's bizarre But that's the way things are! But that doesn't mean it has to be that way What does it cost to be kind? Ew, what have you done with my best friend? Billy, so tell me, am I right or am I right? Trust me I swear, there's a dick in every class Not fair, each and every time I fail, those losers pass Hey, every one of them can kiss my ass! (You wonder why I love him) One year, there was this good looking guy So queer, and on top of that, he had a wandering eye One day he looks at me and, huh, bye, bye (I bet he got the message) We're here to tell you how this whole damn freak show works If you don't listen, then you're jerks The world according to Chris is Better to punch than get punched Better to burn than get burn Learn that and you're gonna go far 'Cause that's the way things are! Ha, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Ha, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Ha, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Ha, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Do you believe her? Come on, she's just being Chris You weren't there! It was awful, we were hurting Carrie! Ah, I'm sure it wasn't that bad Tommy, you don't understand What was just a joke got out of hand We kept on screaming 'til she hit the floor! (Come on, everybody was doing it) Hey, I was in there too What came over me was something new I did things I've never done before! And now I wish there's something I could do or say I've never, ever felt this way Look, Sue, don't be so hard on yourself You can tell me to keep my mouth shut But, wanna know what I'd advise? What? Apologize Apologize Oh, Tommy, that's genius! Ew, Sue, I can tell you're feeling sad Boo-hoo! So we clobbered Carrie and it's too damn bad! This is why you gotta love my dad! (He's got the right idea!) My daddy taught me who's on top and who's below (Who's below) And now it's time I let you know The world according to Chris! You're joking, right? You can't possibly mean all of this! Why are you being such a buzzkill? Chris, grow up! (Ha, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Ha, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na Let's party people! (Ha, na, na, na, na, na, na, na) According to Chris! The world according to Chris! (The world!) The world according to Chris! (According to Chris!) The world according to Chris! (The world!) The world according to Chris! (The world!) The world according to Chris is Better to whip than get whipped Even if somebody bleeds Please, nobody dies from a scar And that's the way things are