Hangman

This a warning for the ones who say they aren't afraid Lately I've been coming from a darker place I've been dealing with depression, I'm more dangerous than ever I've been drinking again and never felt better I swear to God that I'mma burn a bridge and piss on the flames Mix the ash with some whiskey and spit it all in they face My new girl probably flip if you've got somethin' to say She reminds me of myself when I would drink every day I used to feel like how I felt was just a temporary phase But now I feel like the feelings are fucking feeding off fame And I don't plan to slow down or give it a second to breathe I push the pedal past the breaking point, I'm picking up speed In 2016, swear I came apart at the seams I was scared of the dark and therefore afraid of my dreams But I rebuilt what came apart with iron alloy and beams Come fly a plane into my legs and I won't fall to my knees Haven't taken any pills to calm me down for a month I'm on the edge, and I'm waiting for any reason to jump Don't take it lightly, I'm excited when they're throwing a punch I got a list of different strategies to bury these bums Very rarely do I carry all the weight of a grudge But I've been barely ordinary since the prairies and drugs My imaginary friends in camouflage with some guns And I've been fairly military but my army is one They've been passive-aggressive with how they deal with my message They lack the passion and reckless nature of truthful expression They ain't made of what I'm made from, they've been bruised up and dented They don't understand the underhanded ruthless obsession That I was born with, slammed like the door sticks Closet full of skeletons, so heavy couldn't move them with a forklift Your bitch probably fell in love 'cause you forced it Now she bump my records while you deep inside a porn binge I woke up with a buzzing in my head I don't wanna leave the comfort of my bed A dozen missed calls from a dozen of my friends And my day just started, but it's coming to an end Already getting dark, wake up with the stars I don't even know how I got home after I left the bar, yeah I did eight months sober, and I hate that it's over But the weight on my shoulder started breaking my heart I started out with one or two, and then I moved to three or four And then I realized that I was back where I had been before Ativan's gone missing from the bottle Tell my doctor they were stolen, but I know that they were swallowed Everything I ever did was always done with open throttles All the way or nothing, non-commitment is a broken promise And I know that that's a problem in itself But you're living or you're dying or you're crying out for help, yeah It's been a week since I've felt like me I've been starving, but I just can't eat I'm exhausted but I can't find sleep, it's been harder than it's ever been The darkness hasn't ever dimmed, the light's so bleak I never understood what they meant when they said They were just the shadows of men that they had been before they were beat Now I know that everything I heard was for real When I'm looking in the mirror at a shell of myself I think that stress is a contributing factor The being 28 and feeling older than dad does The wrinkles on my face spreading faster and faster If the good die young, I hope I'm one of the bad ones The day's long, stay strong and try again tomorrow though Even if you're running out of reasons to ignore the phone Even if you're running out of gas, go and borrow more Your demons knock the hardest when you finally chose to close the door This is not the way my parents raised me I hope they realize they didn't fail one of their babies This is the result of a declining social climate That's original design was keeping people trapped inside it Liquor and violence, we suffer in silence Until we embrace one another and find our collective defiance Will topple the giants, I just try to smile through the crying 'Cause I know that someone somewhere's feeling way worse than I am, and that's true