Opener

Tonight will be the night, i'm going to make this right. I ran out the door so fast, They thought i wouldn't come back; Back to the same three days over and over again. Fraction of zero sum, ad infinitum: all the regret i keep, All the mistakes i dread, exhausted from oversleep, Awake but still in bed, Ashamed of the things i've said, afraid of what's in my head. So under this bridge i'll stay, And wait for the same three days to end. I sob when i speak, They're looking at me but i can't tell what they see. My thoughts slow to a crawl, I embrace the fall, so i won't answer your calls. It wasn't always this way: perpetually in the gray. Solace in empty fate, the years evaporate. But within the harsh spotlight, I bury myself inside, 'cause every time that i think i let you go. They will construct this maze of fear that i navigate. I'll attempt to parse my place, you'll define everything. I'll finally shut my mouth, Feel both my feet touch ground, Put an end to this run, just say the word and i'll jump. "To everyone: yeah, you were right, I'll never get better and i'm sorry. Next time, i won't sob when i speak, I'll be at peace because it's not "want" it's "need". I need to be someone else".